The "Journey" To The 2026 Master Of Wine Exam

 

As so many of these posts have begun, I am on a flight to SFO.  The exam sits in front of me, like some sort of cosmetic dentistry appointment.  On the one hand I am dreading it, but on the other, I can’t wait to get it over with and move on.  Last year when I flew out to take the exam, I knew I had no chance of passing it.  I had gaping holes in my knowledge that the mechanism of the exam would make impossible to conceal.  I knew that I would get exposed by my lack of technical winemaking and viticultural knowledge.  Even in my subconscious last year my dreams would starkly remind me that I was tumbling into something wholly unprepared.  I had two months of variations of dreams where I was showing up at college courses where I was sitting down to have a test passed out to me, but I wasn’t even aware that I had been registered to the class.  I haven’t had one of those dreams this year.  This year I just want to take the fucking thing already.

I am not saying I am going to pass this thing.  I just want to take it again.  I have a gnawing suspicion that the cultural bias and ever-moving goal posts of the exam might do me in for a passing mark.  This doesn’t mean that I don’t understand the material.  One of the things you will continually hear in the MW program is that the exam is “a communications test”, which is inherently stupid as it should most importantly be a wine exam.  However, like all micro cliques, this program has a culture of its own.  I will vigorously debate anyone from the program on a couple of key points in the MW exam.  1. Anyone that has attended a British university has a tremendous advantage in this program.  The method of communication and unspoken cultural expectation is VERY English biased.  If they had told me coming in that I should mirror the output of a well heeled UK uni kid, that would have saved me three years of trying to figure out why the anonymous assignment markers hated my writing style.  2.  The Stage 2 test has almost no resemblance to the exam that was passed by most of the people assembling the current exam.  I could speculate that there is an inherent motivation to limit the number of incoming members as it lessens the prestige of the current members achievement in passing the exam.  No one will ever admit to increasing the difficulty of the test with the passing of years, even an unintended consequence of gained professional experience of the education committee over time.  You know more about a subject at age 60 then you do at age 40, and therefore you raise the bar behind you.  It is what it is man.

I was listening to a recording of a previous paper chair discussing the exam they had put out and graded.  I’ll change some key details so I don’t call someone out personally, so I will make a lateral example.  The proctor was discussing how candidates needed to be able to identify three wines from a secondary grape in the international market, let’s call it malbec.  One of the wines was a classic Mendoza malbec, the second was the Old World counterpart from Cahors, and then the third was let’s say a Margaret River malbec.  Does Margaret River grow and bottle varietal malbec?  Sure, I guess so.  Nobody would associate Margaret River with malbec, but it exists I guess.  I’ve never seen it, but I also know Bigfoot is out there somewhere tromping in the woods.  

These weird wines that get inserted into the exams are maddening.  If you live in Margaret River or Sydney, I suppose you’re thinking “EVERYBODY is into this now!”.  You’re blind to the fact that most of the engaged wine world, much less dipshits going into grocery stores, wouldn't have any clue such a thing was out there.  I'm thinking of you Elgin!  It’s like when they use Australian Nebbiolo or Baja syrah or Niagara On The Lake Riesling.  Yeah, it exists, but by including it in a three wine flight like that it misleads the test taker into questioning the “banker” wines and thus looking for reasonable alternatives to the Mendoza malbec and Cahors.  Could a Mendoza malbec be an Aussie merlot or a cab sauv?  Hell yeah it could.  Now you can put the Cahors into Bordeaux, which means the Margaret River malbec is now a Sonoma merlot or cabernet.  Now THAT is logical, more so than a trio of malbecs.

The counterargument to this is, of course, you are trying to get affixed the title “Master of Wine”.  A true master should be able to cut through the clutter and deduce that regardless of logic of the set of wines, that last New World wine is DEFINITELY malbec and the climate/winemaking/quality/acid/tannin clues leave Margaret River as the correct conclusion regardless of how unlikely that would appear to be on the surface.  That’s fine.  I’ll live in that world, but the trouble is if you look up an exam from the likely range of when the person talking on the podcast successfully passed, the lineup was as follows:

• All four wines are from Burgundy.  Identify origin as closely as possible.  Discuss quality in regards to origin.  (I think it was a cheap Bourgogne, Vosne Romanee, Gevrey-Chambertin, and a satellite village wine.)

• This pair is from the same origin.  Compare Quality level between the two.  Identify  the likely vintage. (Gee?  I wonder if those are Bordeaux with a grand vin and second wine?)

• Mixed bag of five wines.  Aussie shiraz, Beaujolais Morgon,  Reserva Rioja, Chilean Carmenere, and a Barolo.  (The only one that might be tricky would be the shiraz, but as this exam was given 20 years ago, it would have been high ABV full bodied rocket fuel.  The others are identifiable on sight/smell.  You wouldn’t even have to taste them and you’d probably pass that question.)

• Some whacked out Greek thing with crazy winemaking and an unknown grape where the question was about what winemaking methods were used and how do you sell it commercially.  

Let’s compare that red wine exam to the one I took last year.  In the 2025 exam, the first three wines were a Chinon, an Argentine cab franc and than a single variety Tuscan cab franc, sort of our “Margaret River malbec” of the exam.  We also had a five wine grab bag of a Beaujolais, Barbera, Zweigelt, Touriga Nacional, and a Xinomavro.   This is insane when you compare it to the exam from the past.  The exam the test assemblers passed required them to identify five red wines, all widely available benchmark regional examples.  Shit, going back to question 1, they even told them the pinot was from Burgundy going into it.  Meanwhile the 2025 exam had two wines on it (Xinomavro and Zweigelt) you would be hard pressed to find in a wine shop where I live, the 19th largest city in the most important wine market on the planet.  We in the class of 2026 are not playing the same game as the masters of the past played.  This is where you need to insert the “wine world is always evolving and students need to be aware of emerging trends, blah blah blah” part while conveniently forgetting that they’ve been making and selling Xinomavro, Touriga, and Zweigelt for a long, long time.  The goal posts keep moving and that’s a fact.  The exam has never been more challenging.

I could craft a compelling argument here about how wine as an industry has been eroding, needs well informed ambassadors to help provide lift and tell consumers why they should be excited about wine, and by making the passing standard of the exam consistent, could swell the ranks of the True Believers and Wine Disciples.  That would be a rising tide lifting all boats philosophy.  That ain’t happening though.  This is more of a “thank you sir, may I have another?” frat hazing where only the truly elite test takers are getting into the house.  One of the two people that passed last year was some professional chemist with doctorates in taste perception and chemistry that spoke five languages and was on the Oxford wine tasting team or some such shit.  She is probably a pitch perfect singer and runs the forty in 4.5 seconds too.  Meanwhile I’m slogging away in the Avon Lake public library and tasting in the basement of a wine shop in Lakewood.  I am bringing that underdog energy here, sort of a Rocky-trains-at-the-cabin vibe.  I am clearly not an elite test taker, but I do have my moments.  I know what the hell I am talking about in general, though I do run the risk of misplacing a measurement unit or misspelling some French word/scientific term.  “Diatomaceous earth filtration” anyone?  No guarantees there.  Let’s be honest.

Overall, I feel pretty good.  A friend of mine reminded me to enjoy the ride, as really that’s the entire point.  If I pass this exam or not, my life will probably stay about the same.  I’d probably get to drink some fancy wine for free though.  That would be nice.  After all is said and done, it’s just wine.  It is so easy to let this goal obsessively consume you.  It's important to remember that nobody gives a shit.  Beyond The Wine Lads and my fellow students, nobody cares what happens on this test.  People want to eat pizza, watch Netflix, and catch a buzz.  Nobody cares about Margaret River malbec, nor should they.  It doesn't mean I'm not taking it seriously.  I've never worked this hard at something.  I understand the task in front of me.  The exam is going to be absurdly challenging.  If I go in there clear headed and continue to hide my personality as I write in the (now proven successful) role of “overachieving working class Brit university kid”, I can pass this fuckin' thing.  The odds say that I won’t, but they also said I wouldn’t pass Diploma and I did that.  Bring this shit on bitch.  I’m ready to roll.